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Blame, Excuse, Denial

Welcome to another amazing week! I’m thrilled to have you here as we celebrate who we are and do all the things that make us uniquely us. One of my favorite ways to start the week is with a moment of gratitude, and I appreciate you joining me in this practice.

This weekend, I had the chance to catch up with some friends in Charleston. Macy and I first met years ago when we did a TV show together, but this was my first time meeting her family. Thanks to social media, I felt like I already knew them. About a month ago, I reached out and suggested we get together so our daughters could meet and hang out. We spent the whole weekend together, and it was fantastic. Social media, when used right, can help us connect deeply and then spend meaningful time together in real life. I’m very thankful to Macy and Alfonso—great entrepreneurs, parents of daughters, hustlers, and people who want to make the world a better place.

Spending time with growth-minded people like them is invaluable. A few weeks ago, I talked about the difference between mountain people (those with a growth mindset) and plateau people (those who are content with staying where they are). It’s clear to me now how important it is to surround myself with mountain people—those who embrace the peaks and valleys of life.

On another note, I’m excited to share that I’ve been doing more speaking engagements. I picked up another gig last week in the greater Milwaukee area, offering workshops and keynotes tailored to your organization’s needs. My keynote, “The Language of Leadership,” ranges from a 45-minute talk to a four-hour workshop, all focused on empowering language and uplifting your team.

When it comes to leadership, the language we use matters. People often use limiting beliefs and words that hold them back. My workshops and keynotes aim to reset these expectations, focusing on empowering language that drives growth and optimism.

Let’s talk about unempowering language—words that don’t serve us. I credit Action Coach for their model of ownership, accountability, and responsibility versus blame, excuse, and denial. When we don’t take ownership, we’re likely to blame others, make excuses, or deny the problem altogether. These behaviors need to stop.

I’ll break these down in order of importance, starting with excuses. Excuses are insignificant information that doesn’t address the core of the problem. For instance, we had an employee who took 90 minutes to complete a 30-minute project without calling to update us. When we finally reached him, he gave us countless excuses, none of which solved the problem. The key question to ask yourself when making excuses is, “What can you do about it?” Focus on actionable steps to meet expectations.

Next is blame. I struggle with this one the most. Blame is about finding information that supports why you’re right and someone else is wrong. It’s essential to recognize your part in any situation. For years, I blamed a family member for our strained relationship until I took responsibility for my actions and set clear boundaries. This shift from blame to ownership transformed our relationship.

Finally, the worst of the three is denial. Denial means refusing to accept reality. I had a business partner who denied our financial struggles, despite clear evidence. Denial prevents us from addressing issues and making necessary changes. The key is to stick to the facts and avoid jumping to conclusions based on perceptions.

In our weekly meetings, we use the Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) to identify, discuss, and solve issues based on facts. This process has helped me see patterns of behavior and anticipate challenges.

Reflecting on blame, excuse, and denial has been transformative for me. It started with a conversation where I was challenged to take responsibility for my part in a situation. This led to a deeper understanding of my behaviors and a commitment to making micro changes that lead to macro life improvements.

My mission is to change the world one word at a time. By asking yourself honest questions about denial, blame, and excuse, you can make small but significant changes that empower you and those around you.

Take this week as an opportunity for self-reflection. Think about how you’ve shown up in your life, the life you want to live, and what you can do about it. As always, do the fucking thing, tell the fucking world, and show the fuck up. See you next week!

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Andy Weins

Andy Weins is a fourth-generation entrepreneur, Veteran of the U.S. Army, and speaker. Through consulting, teaching, podcasting, and writing, he is an enthusiastic supporter of Veterans, entrepreneurs, community engagement, individual empowerment, and the environment.

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